All of Dad-dom in About Two Minutes

There are some pretty grumpy dads out there, and I get it.  Mother’s Day comes first, so Father’s Day seems like an afterthought from the jump. The displays of gifts and cards for Mom seem more planned, more elegant, and, well, just nicer, in part because there’s more you can do with pretty things like perfume bottles and fashions.  How many ways can you make a barbecue and beer coasters look appealing?

Of course, that’s the other problem.  While Mother’s Day seems to be diversifying in terms of how it’s celebrated, Father’s Day seems stuck in some pretty tired trends.  A tie.  A cordless drill.  Gold-plated hand weights.  Steak for dinner.  For reasons passing understanding, society seems to feel it’s OK for Mom to enjoy Mother’s Day on the driving range, but Dad at the opera?  We’ll get back to you.

Sadly, our school calendar doesn’t help with this.  With Mother’s Day in May, elementary teachers have ample time to devote to handmade projects for Mom, often involving dried pasta and lots of glitter.  These may not always attain a certain aesthetic standard, but they certainly surpass the school-created gifts Dad gets—because those don’t exist.  June is too busy with end-of-school activities to squeeze in time for Dad.  Besides, gifts for Dad would, by stereotype, involve hammering— and supervising eight-year-olds who don’t have carpentry weapons is tough enough.  It would be great if teachers across America would think, hey, as long as we’re disrupting the regular schedule for Mom in May, let’s make something for Dad at the same time, and keep them at school until June. But school reform can be thorny.

If you’re one of the Dads who feels the world is against giving you proper due this Sunday, you really aren’t going to like this, but I hope you’ll hear me out.  It isn’t often writers find a better way to express an idea that’s written by someone else, but when it comes to fatherhood, that piece of prose exists—so much so that I’m not even going to come close to 600 words this week, so you’ll have time to watch it twice.  This clip is from the film Ford v Ferrari, and race car driver Ken Miles is talking to his son.  This is ostensibly about driving, but he sculpts his ideas so elegantly, he gets to life’s larger lessons without being anything but himself.  That’s the lesson about fatherhood here, Dads—let love lead you, and you will be more than enough. (Do be sure to watch to the very end.)

So, yeah, Mom got 600 words last month, and this column barely breaks 500.  Then again, how exactly can you beat “As the car speeds up, everything else slows down…and then you see everything.”

(And, in case you care, I’m hoping for shrimp cocktail, an ice-cold bottle of Pellegrino, and dark covered chocolate cherries from Cherry Republic.  Really beats a circular saw, at least for me.)

The Assurance of Illusion

That shimmering mass of water
On the road up ahead
Where did it come from?
The long cloudless sky?
But wait.
We’ve arrived where the water seemed to be
And now it’s gone.
Vanished
Or delusional?

Wait, something new ahead.
The road seems to be ending
Left and right side coming together
Disapparating
The end of Highway 591
Right in the middle of nowhere.
Hold on.
We’ve arrived where the point of no return
Seemed to be
And there’s more to come after all.
More road
More highway
More stops for Cherry Icees.

I’ve seen so much on the road
Canyons
Glaciers
Desert red cliffs and flocks of flamingos
In France.
But maybe I’ve been missing
All there is to unsee
Getting pass the assurance
Of illusion.

Wow.
What a sunset.

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