Y’all

Bits and pieces of my life come from other places.  I love them dearly, and hope they aren’t examples of cultural appropriation, but rather, things I’ve received from those who wanted to freely share them, as I share my world with theirs, doing my best to honor their histories.

Right up there with Christmas crackers, kimchi, and Canadian Thanksgiving is a plethora of gifts from The South.  A slew of southerners made their way to Detroit when Henry Ford was paying $5 a day, and their food, cultures, and outlooks have made my life richer.  I haven’t embraced all of them—there are just too many vegetables for my liking on a muffaletta, and po’ boys make a better story than sandwich—but here are some that warm my heart in the Northern snow:

“There You Go”  The phrase many Southern educators use that expresses delight in the progress a student’s making, without being phony or overboard.  This is evident when the child’s face responds, beaming brighter than a hilltop church on Christmas Eve (another Southern tidbit I’m grateful for). Oh that all educators knew the power of this understated praise.

Understatement  My friends in the UK and my friends in warmer US climes go to great lengths to shape ideas that say something powerful, but muted.  This is especially true with Southern humorists, like Roy Blount Jr.  Their approach to language may take more time to participate in, but the pictures it paints engages and enriches life in ways few other things do.

“Bless Your Heart”  More of an FYI than a favorite thing. Sometimes an expression of kindness, I’ve learned it’s also the epitome of understatement, since the speaker is more likely suggesting you are a few cards short of a full deck, but they still love you. Kind of.

Cornbread  OK—truly a victim of cultural appropriation, so much so that it has two phyla; Northern and Southern.   I posted my recipe for cornbread online, and a Southern acquaintance responded, “If I made that down here, my friends would kill me”.

Grits  Northern chefs first called it hominy to charge more for it.  Now grits are everywhere, with even some Southern friends valuing recipes like shrimp and grits.  Just don’t talk about sugar versus butter.  That’s a party-killer. (Full disclosure—I use maple syrup.)

Pimento Cheese  A Southern staple, it’s remained unchanged, thank heavens.  Served on crustless white bread, period.

Y’all and All y’all  A work in progress for me.

Y’all—short for you all, and can mean one person or more.
All y’all—includes everyone in earshot, and perhaps the entire planet.  Often used in times of intense emotion.

While I love hearing both, I am not confident enough in my understanding to use either.

Jerry Douglas  So many Southern music heroes, from Vince Gill (tell me there’s another voice like his) to Reba (her ballads make a gentleman remove his hat, look at his shoes, and move to the next county) to Preservation Hall, Alison Krause, Rhiannon Giddens, and Chubby Carrier.  But Jerry Douglas playing the Dobro?  Mozart on a six-string.

Sir and Ma’am  Initially used to show respect.  Sadly, they’ve been overused in times of fear and intimidation, and sometimes seem out of place in an age when waitstaff say “No problem”.  What they stood for needs more room in our world.  What has, or should, take their place?

How’d I do, y’all?

(Oh—and gumbo, and Dolly giving away a million books, and mac and cheese, and JD Souther, and Barbara Jordan, and the Ryman, and Dr. Pepper…)

(…and ain’t. God bless ain’t.)

Era of 47

Both sides seem mad.
Nope.
Both sides are scared.
But no
Fight or flight here.
Instead
They say things to make you mad
And do their hitting for them.

Don’t take the bait.
Reason.
Listen.
Write call and attend.
The only speaking that matters
Is speaking 
Centered on silence.

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