Grilling

Last week’s paean to cherries and tomatoes outlined two highlights of my summer (cool breezes and slushy lemonade being two others). This may lead readers to wonder if there is anything about summer that concerns me.

Yes.  It’s outdoor grilling.

I was raised in one of those households where a parent (Dad, in this case) loved nothing better than the prospect of strapping on a striped apron (he skipped the hat—like mine, his head was too big) and spending Sunday making a burnt sacrifice to the gods that passed as dinner.  To be fair, it wasn’t always burnt—in fact (and I love you, Dad) if the meat in question was chicken, it was almost never completely cooked— but the love of grilled food has simply eluded me, with the odd and notable exceptions of hot dogs, Brussels sprouts, and ribs, which I will only eat grilled.  Other than that, I find little pleasure in making my way around carbonated versions of burgers, steak, brisket, and chicken, even when they are allegedly grilled properly (s’mores as well—just too sweet).

Given my bias, I sincerely hope those entering the upcoming grilling season with enthusiasm will accept a little advice on how to make the most of the experience for those who will be eating your wares. Yes, it’s fun to put on the apron, but it’s helpful to remember you’re making food for people, which means it’s best if it’s edible.  To that end, three helpful tips:

Dump the fork  I’ve lost track of the number of ads celebrating summer where the chef emerges from an overly smoky grill with a gorgeous steak resting on the prongs of a barbecue fork.  Yes, it’s beautiful; yes, it’s appetizing, and yes—the best part of the steak is now dripping down the chef’s arm. Most steak recipes urge the chef to cook the steak on each side for one minute, to seal in the juices while the steak is cooking.  One stab with the barbecue fork, and the show is over.  Most barbecue sets still come with a fork.  If you’re getting one as a Father’s Day gift, do everyone a favor, and jettison the fork immediately.

Better yet for your burgers  If you really want to do your eaters a favor, think twice about asking for a barbecue set, and consider asking for the griller’s true best friend—a cast iron pan.  A host of professional chefs insist that the only way to cook a good hamburger is in its own juices.  That doesn’t happen on a grill, and it best happens in a cast iron skillet.  The plus here is that the skillet can also be used inside—and if you’re wondering, what’s the real point of using a cast iron skillet on a grill, you are halfway to understanding my world.

If you must grill  Young tastebuds may need time to acquire the finer elements of carbonated food.  Until then, consider making hobo suppers on the grill.  Its humble beginnings go back to the need to make the best of leftovers.  The chef takes the scraps of last night’s roast chicken and potatoes, throws in some tomatoes or other soft vegetables, smothers the whole thing in lots (and I mean lots) of cheese and herbs, wraps it in foil, and throws it on the grill for about five minutes.  It’s gooey, it’s carbon-free, and best of all, it’s cooked.  Try these out a few times, and your kids’ thrill with the grill will only grow.

Oh yes—and goat.  I once had barbecued goat.  That was lovely.

The Novice Chef

The recipe
Scattered T and t
Next to so many of the vast ingredients
He wasn’t sure if the author
Had any expertise
Or simply had a bad editor.
But then he sampled
A rubbery roux
And a lemon vinaigrette
That was LEMON, not lemon
And concluded there must be a code to those Ts and ts
He’d need to crack
To make progress.

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